>>One of the biggest benefits of getting older used to be gaining access to public spheres, which made you more socially relevant. Think about why you used to look so forward to going to a friend’s sleepover, or learning to drive, or going away for college. It was all to elevate yourself from being this cloistered and invisible entity, hidden away in your parents’ home. Getting older meant earning the means to go to places where you’d be seen and heard, where your thoughts and ideas would finally matter.
Also worth remembering is the extent to which the *local* public sphere and participation therein have atrophied. Unless you can see through the illusion (and it's not easy), it looks a whole lot like the only meaningful/impactful modes of social participation are all but exclusive to the internet, where each of us is basically one of several million blips reacting to bloops and endeavoring to appear on as many strangers' screens and get enough upvotes & shares & approving comments & donations &c to ground our self-assurances of being relevant and integral and well-liked.
There are no other options if you're not looking outside the digital box—and even if you are, the pickings are slim and comparatively unglamorous. Social clubs are basically dead (and meetup.com gatherings are no replacement). Unions are anemic compared to what they were 100 years or even 50 years ago. Church groups? Please.
A lot of the Millennial angst of the 2010s and 2020s is a reaction to a new condition of mass-scale social and political irrelevance for which I don't think many of us were prepared, and for which the internet is a palliative at best and an aggravator at worst.
When I think back on my youth as a millennial, the fundamental collective ethos (apart from "self-actualization") was really just pleasure-seeking. And because that is so intertwined with one's notion of their personal attractiveness - itself tied to youth - it's like worshipping something with a built-in time decay.
You're right on the money. We *are* go to age terribly, because there is no sustainable meaning to be found in pleasure-seeking and trying to indefinitely extend our bio-physical runway for "sowing our oats."
The median person will end up disappointed in their career - so once their youth is exhausted, what other sources of meaning remain?
Looking forward to seeing Millennials desperately competing with Gen Z, and then our own children. And if it looks bad for us, imagine how bad it'll be for the next generations that are Millennials on HGH.
Long time lurker, first time commenter: just wanted to say I always look forward to receiving new work from you! Really appreciate your takes on culture.
Thanks so much for the kind words! Pardon me for the 3-weekish lapse. Looking forward to resuming more regular writing now that my other piece is done.
I love your writing about dating and gender. Do you accept requests? I'd love to read more about this from you!
Additionally, I'm happy to learn that you are getting paid to write book reviews! I find your reviews so incisive.
Getting older makes me personally anxious. I often feel unaccomplished and aimless. There's loads I haven't done that I want to do....
Thanks! Sure, I'm open to suggestions. Can't guarantee anything, though!
Can't dwell too much on lost time! We can only plan and move forward.
>>One of the biggest benefits of getting older used to be gaining access to public spheres, which made you more socially relevant. Think about why you used to look so forward to going to a friend’s sleepover, or learning to drive, or going away for college. It was all to elevate yourself from being this cloistered and invisible entity, hidden away in your parents’ home. Getting older meant earning the means to go to places where you’d be seen and heard, where your thoughts and ideas would finally matter.
Also worth remembering is the extent to which the *local* public sphere and participation therein have atrophied. Unless you can see through the illusion (and it's not easy), it looks a whole lot like the only meaningful/impactful modes of social participation are all but exclusive to the internet, where each of us is basically one of several million blips reacting to bloops and endeavoring to appear on as many strangers' screens and get enough upvotes & shares & approving comments & donations &c to ground our self-assurances of being relevant and integral and well-liked.
There are no other options if you're not looking outside the digital box—and even if you are, the pickings are slim and comparatively unglamorous. Social clubs are basically dead (and meetup.com gatherings are no replacement). Unions are anemic compared to what they were 100 years or even 50 years ago. Church groups? Please.
A lot of the Millennial angst of the 2010s and 2020s is a reaction to a new condition of mass-scale social and political irrelevance for which I don't think many of us were prepared, and for which the internet is a palliative at best and an aggravator at worst.
Yes, globalized social competition has wreaked havoc on our sense of purpose and place.
When I think back on my youth as a millennial, the fundamental collective ethos (apart from "self-actualization") was really just pleasure-seeking. And because that is so intertwined with one's notion of their personal attractiveness - itself tied to youth - it's like worshipping something with a built-in time decay.
You're right on the money. We *are* go to age terribly, because there is no sustainable meaning to be found in pleasure-seeking and trying to indefinitely extend our bio-physical runway for "sowing our oats."
The median person will end up disappointed in their career - so once their youth is exhausted, what other sources of meaning remain?
A great piece, as always!
Looking forward to seeing Millennials desperately competing with Gen Z, and then our own children. And if it looks bad for us, imagine how bad it'll be for the next generations that are Millennials on HGH.
Long time lurker, first time commenter: just wanted to say I always look forward to receiving new work from you! Really appreciate your takes on culture.
Thanks so much for the kind words! Pardon me for the 3-weekish lapse. Looking forward to resuming more regular writing now that my other piece is done.
Great read for my birthday! Sincerely liked it in a perverse way
Perverse?!
not in a sexual sense...just in an unexpected way
“A world that respects only the young eventually devours everyone.” - Michel Houellebecq, The Elementary Particles